Flower Magic Book

Thread上的画，搬好啦。 179更新于2024年的12月18日，在这此后，是一年喋喋不休的碎碎念——没有画画，那些就不搬了吧。 搬一遍，就是再走一遍，2024，2025。 总的来讲，我是个耻于表达自己真实情感的人。我就想，如果每天只能说一句话，那我要说些什么呢？ 或者画出来？然而我根本不会画画，只是找一种不那么羞耻的方式来夹带私货。现在再看，那些话和画尴尬到扣脚趾。 还上赶着想要你看。 要你承受这些，是很过分的。你辛苦了。

I find myself dreaming of you so easily. In those dreams, the way we are together feels no different from reality, And it fills me with joy— For no amount of time spent with you could ever be enough. We always seem to stumble upon the same thoughts, Surprised by the harmony in our minds. My life has never held so many coincidences, As though it has never been filled with so many dreams. Or perhaps… have we known each other for much longer than we realize? Or is it some instinctual pull, A quiet deliberateness that brings me closer to you, Even before I am aware of it? I do not wish to pry, Yet I am allowed glimpses of your past. They are beautiful, endearing— Each memory, each shadow overlapping, Weaving together to form who you are now: The very best version of you. I take a step back, giving us space, Only to find myself invited into your life again. It catches me off guard, Almost as though I might still be dreaming. You say the road ahead is long, and it will be hard. But in my hea...

 In ancient China, people carved words onto tortoise shells and burned them with fire to seek divine oracles.  I did the same thing. The oracle I received from the bone was a single word: "heart." Back then, the character for "heart" resembled the gesture we use today🫶 Today's creation is a wax carving, which I plan to cast into silver jewelry. It's the first piece by a rookie designer, and I really wish I could give it to you.💝🙂

 I’ve come to realize that love is actually quite simple. The pain comes only from caring too much about reciprocation, which feels like trying to “get” something from you.  In truth, just knowing you’re nearby—even if we are facing away each other, and I can’t look up to see you—already brings me joy and peace. I’ve always been sensing your presence, my princess.  These days, when I face you, I tend to look away on purpose.  Please don’t doubt my love; I just don’t want to be a burden or a source of trouble for you.  I understand that love, like sculpture, is about removing the parts you don’t need.🙂

 Today, a blogger I follow shared the story of his breakup and his inner reflections. He was very genuine, dissecting his true needs, admitting his avoidance, and explaining why he chose to break up with a girl he considered truly wonderful.  I don’t want to judge whether he was right or wrong, and I’m not saying your thoughts will align with his. But his sharing gave me an inspiration—I should evaluate this relationship more from your perspective. Am I the right person for you? Is what I’m giving what you truly want?  I’ve always said that love is about fulfilling your wishes, and that you are free. But when your wish doesn’t include me, and when that ‘me’ feels so much pain, how hypocritical that is. 😂 I believe you are a wonderful and independent person, with your own thoughts and judgments; you just haven’t told me.  But I trust you.  I trust that you’re making the choice that’s best for you, and in that, we are aligned. Love is not a cage. Even if we are t...

 -Knight, you've done well today. But I must remind you not to indulge in any illusions. You're smart, and your imagination is rich, but you know what reality is.  -Yes, it’s silent, one-sided, and secret love.  -But the pain of being shattered doesn’t lessen or disappear because of this. It may hurt even more in the future, perhaps again and again, thousand times more. Are you infatuated with the pain itself? Are you intoxicated by the so-called sacrifice for love? -I've been asking myself the same questions these past two days.  I must admit, I'm afraid of this kind of shattering pain. I’ve hesitated, even used “leave it to time” as an excuse, letting time decide for me, but that’s just avoidance and cowardice.  It’s not that complicated. Because meeting her is a gift of fate. And the version of myself after meeting her is the best version of me🙂

 Do you love her? Yes, you do.  But is your love good for her? It doesn’t seem so. She is so wonderful that she will always meet more dazzling people. She deserves to see a better world. If the princess is willing, a thousand kings would offer her diamond rings. Yesterday, you realized it, and you felt pain. But if she loves you, if she knows everything about you, won’t she feel pain too? That wouldn’t be fair to her. Love is just love; it doesn’t depend on her response.  You love her. You want to be close to her. You want her to be well, to worry for her, to care for her. Your so-called silent love still holds the small hope that “maybe she will notice.” But if she doesn’t need it, are you willing to be the unnecessary one?  Is it her fault for not needing you?  That wouldn’t be fair to her. You are good, and you are so bad. The love of a knight is forbidden. You are willing to burn, but you have no right to ask her to do the same. Fate only brought you togethe...

-Your Highness, look, this is the black cat I once told you about, the ideal one. It symbolizes wisdom and wealth, and it can protect its companions. Most importantly, it's the messenger of the moon. Sometimes, when we have to communicate through the moon, it helps us connect.  -If there were such a black cat, what would she be called?  -Since she's so black, let's call her Snow ball.🤪 Black Cat: ???  The dog Snowball: ???

-Tom, I'm a bit worried about the princess.  I know she's focused on her work. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but She looks like, doesn't even initiate conversations with people anymore. It's like she's locked herself away.  -Tom, pls go find Snowball, there might be a clue in his nest, he always hides some letters there.  The princess can stay wherever she likes. Just confirm she's okay.

Today, I don't want to say "I love you," my princess. What I want to say is that autumn is truly beautiful.  It's the color of Maillard, it's the scent of osmanthus, it's the sound of leaves rustling underfoot.  Autumn is a cautious embrace in dream. Autumn is the you who still forget to eat，immersed in your work🥹

 -Hey, knight, what are you doing? Stop! Don’t pinch my cheeks!  -I was just checking something. The book says that cats have a wonderful trait: every time they come to rub against you, even if you push them away, they don’t mind. They'll go off and do their own thing for a while and come back later.  -Ah, yes, that’s one of our cats’ traits—love’s courage and persistence.  -But the book calls it "thick-skinned."🤪 Adorable cats are all thick-skinned, so you can be too, knight!😂

 -Take a breath, Your Highness , The osmanthus flowers are blooming. This is the scent you love.  -Yes, The fragrance is a truly magical substance, it is invisible and intangible, but able to reach straight into a person's neural core.  -In this way, love must also be a kind of fragrance, my princess😜 窗前谁浸木犀黄？花也香，梦也香。 说到做梦，昨天是又梦见了的。

 Sunflowers are my favorite flower, even more so than roses and tulips. They are truly passionate, and their meaning is "silently loving you."  I've always dreamed of owning an estate where I would plant a field of sunflowers. You could walk through it like a child and take the most beautiful pictures. I will take photos for you, silently but passionately. My princess. Time is quite fascinating.  It takes 90 days for a jar of rose jam to ferment, yet in just the second minute of not seeing you, I already start missing you.  It only takes 2 minutes to finish a rose pastry, but love, that could last more than 90 years.  In the vast flow of time, daily sharing may not seem necessary. But how could love not want to be a part of your everything?😔

 Last night, I dreamed of you, my princess. You had so much to say to me, and I did too. Because it was raining, we stood under the eaves and talked slowly. It was so beautiful.  But then, I was jolted awake by white noise.  Damn it. This is a piece I really love, but I’ve never tried to replicate it. I was worried it might make you feel offended. Please just think of it as a doodle. You know I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. 这终究是现实中的我无法奢求的。

-TOM, look at the princess—she's so beautiful. Do you know when she's at her most beautiful?  -I know. Mr Knight. It's when she's playing with me and Snowball; she turns into an adorable little kid. And...  -And also right now. She's completely immersed in what she's doing, enjoying the process of creating, and she's glowing. This must be what they call "flow,"  -Yeah, Only issue is, when she's in that state, we couldn’t disturb her.  -Sigh😮‍💨 -Sigh😮‍💨 -Then let's enter our own flow as well.🙂We won’t be outdone, Tom(Maybe this way I won’t think about you as much.)

 -Your Highness, I have discovered a spcial place. It’s a secluded garden, quiet and pure, just waiting there. You can relax here anytime you wish.  -It has no ornate decorations now, but if you like this garden, it will receive an extra blessing of fate’s energy, becoming the most beautiful place in the world.  A knight is not afraid of exile; he is only saddened by not being able to share in your joys and sorrows. But, It’s OK🙂🤪

 The Knight lost today.  I was almost torn apart by the feeling of being a "burden," but amazingly, in the midst of my extreme frustration, an image suddenly appeared in my mind: a small blade of grass by a well, poking its head out from a crack in the stone. The cold wind and trampling couldn't stop it—it was determined to grow.  I was stunned, isn't this your name? (Anyway, you won't see this, so let me be reckless and say it just this once.) I'm still cold, but I'm alive. It turns out your name really is engraved in my heart—it summoned a "Expecto Patronum".  Well, perhaps this love is ridiculous and untimely, but it's still worth it.  Love, is your color. Love, is your name.

 -Sir Knight, you are always wearing armor to protect the princess, but I haven't seen the dragon appear. -TOM, the dragon has always been there. In the past few days, I've fought many battles with him. He is me. He is my inside fear, my insecurity, my possessiveness. He said, ‘You have no hope, surrender.’ But Love is so real. This is a war where there’s no stepping back. If this is fate, then let fate judge me.

 -Love is a blazing fire, and I am learning to be a firebender. Fortunately, those who love cooking seem to have some talent.🤪 -In past few days, as the weather turns colder, I’m wondering: what would an ideal winter look like? Emmm, It’s the bubbling water of a perfectly brewed pour-over coffee, the cat and dog dozing by the stove, the scarf you’re halfway through knitting, and the bread baking just right. It’s time to have your breakfast, my princess.

-I don't know why, but I feel like I can sense your emotions. I think you don’t need comfort, just a moment to sit with the emotions. You’re great but don’t forget, for the old knight, you’re still a child. Take care of your inner child. I'll guard your solitude, my princess.

 -Hello, everyone, and welcome to the "Athena at Night" podcast channel. I am your all-knowing host, the wise OWL. Let’s connect with today’s eager listener and hear their question. -."Hello, Mr OWL, emm, I have a friend who's been studying *The Paradox of Love* recently, and he's quite confused, so he asked me to inquire on his behalf." - "No problem, wait! this voice... Sir Knight, is that you?" - "It's not me!" When it comes to studying love, there really are so many questions. I could create my own framework, but I'm not sure if it's reasonable to analyze something as miraculous as love (yes, to me it's a miracle) through pure rationality.  Maybe starting a podcast where I ramble on about it could help? There probably wouldn’t be many listeners. But, well, I don’t need a big audience anyway, haha.

 “Hi Princess, do you know the happy magic?” “Is it Cheering Charm?” “Emm, Just colorful bubbles.”